Wednesday, March 28, 2012

That Bitch Stole My Golden Egg!

I knew when word got out that the salon I frequent (Lords and Ladies) was holding an adults-only egg hunt in which the top prizes were a $500 and $100 gift card that it may attract a lot of attention.  And, I knew the odds were against me to pick up one of these top prize eggs.  What I didn’t know (and really, I should have known it) was the frenzied mayhem that would accompany such an event.

The rainy conditions did little to dampen the enthusiasm of the women and men flocking to the sight of the hunt which piggy backed on Exeter township’s children’s egg scramble.  Oh, it was all nice and polite while the children divided into their age groups and awaited the countdown to commence gathering eggs.  Their parents held umbrellas, snapped precious pictures and reminded their children to be polite while gathering their stash of plastic multi-colored eggs containing chocolate and the occasional prize ticket.   Each age group waited patiently for their turn and proceeded at a steady rate when it was time to go.
“If only we could get them to pick up their rooms this well,” parents joked congenially with one another.
My three enjoying a rainy day at the egg hunt.

I was one of those parents acting like such a good mama to brave the weather so my children could have this experience - so they could one day have idyllic memories of their childhood … uh, yeah right!  I had a hair appointment the next day - full highlights, cut, the works – so I was there to grab my golden egg to financial bliss. 

To up our chances for a big win, I brought my parents (my mom could have that $500 gift card spent in one visit!) and a friend with two boys nearly the same ages as my children.  At first, the grassy area designated for the grown-up egg hunt looked inviting and fun.  The shiny gold colored eggs dotted the ground and a few people circled around them.  Five minutes before the start, a crowd – approximately half the residents of the township and the surrounding area - pressed into a tight circle three or four people deep.  My mom scooped an egg between her feet Emperor Penguin style.

Here's me in the blue rain jacket and my mom in yellow moments before the insanity!

Before the start, we were asked to take ten steps back which caused the egg between my mom’s feet to be left behind.  Big Mistake!  The woman beside us had scooted an egg back with her – ugh!  Too late now.

Game on!  The egg, our egg that we left behind, sat nearly four feet away.  More eggs were scattered out towards the middle.  My friend had been lost in the crowd in a different location.  My mom and I devised a plan.  I would go for the near egg.  My mom would shoot for the middle.  An announcement was made that each participant could collect a total of three eggs and no more.  I knew I’d be lucky to get the one in front of me, let alone three of them.

Countdown: 3, 2, 1 … I ran, one step, two steps, reaching forward, inches from the golden egg … and …. and … blocked! A young, lean, tall twenty-something girl dove, I mean like there-was-a-pool-in-front-of-her dove head first for the egg, my golden egg, and snatched it firm in her grasp.  She had a milli-second to celebrate her victory before five woman came diving, tripping, falling and literally piling on top of her.

My father had stood back to watch us while attending to my children and my friend’s children.  Before retirement, he had been a junior high football coach, so you can imagine his disappointment in watching his daughter throwing up her hands up in the air and wildly kicking her feet while yelling, “Oh My God!  Oh My God!  I’m going to die!”

My mom made it unscathed into the middle where in a matter of ten seconds, every egg had been picked up.  She returned empty handed and questioned my own empty hands to which I calmly, er well, explained:

“That bitch stole my golden egg!” 

And, honestly, I lost track of her to know what was inside it.  I do know that it wasn’t the $500 gift card because a husband had muscled his way through the fray to win this prize for his wife.  Meanwhile, my friend did collect one golden egg which contained a $10 coupon towards a future visit.  Since she doesn’t frequent this salon and had been on the hunt for big money to put towards a facial, so she graciously and charitably passed the coupon on to me! 

Now, hop forward one year later to "The Redemption of the Golden Egg" - click here:

The next day I used my $10 coupon and learned that the hunt had made the newspaper.  The Reading Eagle article is totally worth seeing for the comical picture alone!  Here’s the link:

Plus a video had been taken from afar of the hunt.  The salon (Lords and Ladies) put it up on their facebook page- you'll have to scroll down the page a bit:  

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