What can I say about this book, but, “Oh my!” I bit my lower lip through the entire reading. And, I frequently cocked my head to one side.
Okay, yes, E. L. Stine has gone on several talk shows acknowledging the fact that the writing isn’t the best. And, there were several phrases like those above and more that were repeated over and over and over and ... yes, over again. Add that to a female main character from Seattle who seems to have oddly more in common with the British author from her use of certain phrases and bewildering, singular interest in British literature. But then our esteemed author is British and is mega-fan of Twilight, so you do the math.
That said the Fifty Shades did do one thing extremely well. And, I believe I’ve gotten the answer to my original question of “What is it about this book?” (Mind out of the gutter, it’s not the fifty ways these two do the nasty. Although, like a good thriller that has a lot of action scenes, there were a lot of “action” scenes alright.)
So, what is it about this book? It’s a fantasy. It has a healthy dose of naughty. And, it’s spiked with a secret, unexpected ingredient: romance.
Fantasies: So many fantasies are covered through the main characters, Christian and Anastasia. Here’s a brief list:
1. Christian is young, obscenely rich, successful, over-the-top attractive and, most people don’t realize this, also a robot. It doesn’t actually mention him being a robot in the book, but I have my theories. He’s either a robot or an alien.
2. Anastasia is perfectly thin and beautiful despite never working out and eating plate after plate of pancakes, eggs and bacon. Oh, if this could be true for all of us!
3. The sex that was frequent and satisfying to both of them (that’s correct, both of them, her too) every single time (I repeat, every single time).
4. Anastasia totally gets trashed to the point of vomiting and passing out, yet wakes in Grey’s suite without a hangover and ready for, uh, “action”.
5. And then there’s the whole "she’ll be able to change him – I just know it!" It looked like it was going to happen. Ana was going to tame Christian. They were going to have, dare I say it, “more”.
Naughty: While the so-called vanilla sex seemed to peg the whole naughty thing. It was The Red Room of Pain that provided most of it and never once, when Ana was incapacitated by whatever form of bondage, did she ever have the unbearable sensation of having to scratch her nose.
Romance: It’s the typical Romeo and Juliet thing. Christian and Ana seemingly begin falling in love only to be denied by something beyond their control. In this case, Christian’s past abuse prevents a nice, happy love story from developing and instead, steers the plot toward two mildly violent spanking scenes. Ouch!
As for me, my biggest fantasy would be to have E. L. Stine’s newly heavily padded bank account. Ah, a girl can dream …
You have got to check out Ellen DeGeneres doing a reading of Fifty Shades:
And, Gilbert Gottfried: (You'll need to remove the kids from the room for this one!)