Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Warning: A Horrendous Streak of Bad Luck Ahead

“If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.”  ~Anonymous

I wish I would have gotten a message warning me, so I could have planned appropriately.  As I type, there is a mysterious knocking noise coming from something mechanical (happily not animal) under the house.  Will it never end??? 

After a weekend in which the dryer broke and the bird house on my wash line was knocked off presumably from the gusty storms, I officially declared our bad luck around here a streak.

Last night, we picked up the van and paid the bill for the repairs.  Jasper the mechanic in South Philly would be interested to know that the dealership service found many a thing broken.  I’m not exactly sure, but when the service shop called to inform me of the repairs it sounded like, “Your ABC all the way to your XYZ needs to be replaced, reprogrammed and throttled (or something about giving the throttle therapy – I’m not sure).  Plus, we’ll be cleaning all your connections and cleaning out your bank account.”

So, what was I to do to end this streak of bad luck?  I know, surf the web!  I found many feng shui items for sale, scary headings for spells and this list from of vague superstitions I may have accidentally unknowingly done.   

Be aware of vague superstitions:
  • Picking a penny up if it is tails up
  • Getting dressed with your left arm/left leg first
  • Seeing an owl during the day
  • Don't knit a pair of socks for your boyfriend or he'll walk away from you.
  • Killing ladybugs or spiders (especially moneyspiders)
  • It is bad luck to close a pocket knife unless you were the one who opened it.
  • "Sleeping with feet towards a door will lose you your soul forevermore"
  • If an owl hoots three times in your garden.
  • Sleeping on or under a dinner table.
  • Starting a venture on a Friday.
  • Killing a bee within your home.
  • Turning a loaf of bread upside down once it has been sliced will bring you terrible luck.
  • Saying the word "Pig" at sea.
  • If you ever drop a knife, picking it up yourself will bring you bad luck in money and love. You should ask someone else to pick it up for you. Supposedly comes from old-time etiquette where dropping a utensil was considered extremely rude and bending to pick it up would be the same as flipping your dinner guests a "V".
  • To start a new venture, meet someone new, or start a relationship on Friday 13th.
  • Ivy growing on a house protects the inhabitants from witchcraft and evil.
  • Stabbing your needles though your yarn balls brings bad luck to anyone who wears something made from that yarn.

  Wikihow goes on to suggest throwing salt over my left shoulder.  Last week, the double finger crossing didn’t work, but, what the hell, I’m game.  Where’s that sea salt grinder?  Does it count if I only have sea salt?  Oh, I’m doomed!

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