Wednesday, January 18, 2012

And Then I Bowled like Travolta

I’m no expert, but bowling can be stress therapy.  Pins = crap in your life.  Bowling ball = instrument of kick ass.  Of course, this is only true if you happen to knock down some pins.

I’m no expert, but for a game that doesn’t require an instruction sheet, it’s not as easy as it seems.  I mean basically it’s pick up the ball and roll it.  Even toddlers can do that.  You don’t even have to know how to keep score anymore.  The computers do it for you.  All you have to know is how to properly spell your name and even that’s optional.

I’m no expert, but I’m getting old.  I remember the days when there were actual score cards and you had to perform addition.

I’m no expert, but doesn’t it seem like thinking about how old your child or a friend/family member’s kid has become, makes you feel old, too?  This weekend my son turned 8.  I know.  He’s not that old … yet!  Anyway, we decided to throw him a party at the local bowling alley.  It was so fun when his little friends got higher scores than I did.  So fun!

I’m no expert, but bowling without beer means an empty bowling alley.  At my son’s party, we had the place to ourselves.  Yeah, I may have allowed people to assume we rented the whole place, like Beyonce’s closing down of the maternity ward, but I’m fairly certain it was the lack of beer.  Also, I think it explains my lousy score.

I’m no expert, but what I didn’t do as far as knocking down pins, I totally made up for with what I’d like suggest to the sport of bowling: style points.  After much frustration including asking the owner for a level because I was certain that my alley in particular was tilted to the left, I just about gave up. And then … Are you ready for this?   And then I bowled like Travolta (the iconic Saturday Night Fever version). 
Isn’t that how the professionals do it?  And guess what?  I got a spare.  Oh, yeah!

I’m no expert, but everyone watching was so jealous of my moves.  I bet if any of them were to comment here, they’d say I looked more like Elaine from Seinfeld. 
See what I mean?  Jealous.   

And finally, I’m no expert, but I’ve been – ahem– “bowled” over with appreciation for those of you who recently have shared your kind words of support (and perhaps a “like”) for this blog and my novel.  Thanks!

And one more thing (for real this time), I’m no expert, but you’ve got to check out my new blurb above my list of followers.  It’s … er, uh … it’s … well, you’ll just have to read it.

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