Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Murphy’s Law as applied to Meteorites

 I've been having Chicken Little moments of anxiety ever since that giant ball of fire containing a meteorite crashed into the frozen landscape of Russia, shattering windows, busting vodka bottles and unfortunately injuring many people within a broad area.  Look at what it did to this guy:
(For all you movie fans, yes, this is Ivan Drago from Rocky IV)
As Alfred E. Neuman's famous quote goes, "What me, worry?"  Yes!  I was always a “worrier” and now since having children, I’m a certified card carrying “WORRIER”.  Then, I started thinking about the probability of a meteorite (like the one that did the dinosaurs in, supposedly) actually hitting here.  And, I’ve concluded to ease my anxiety that there must exist a direct link between Murphy’s Law and meteorites.  So, I made a brief list of what it would take for a meteorite to strike with such exact precision.  Be warned, there was absolutely no form of science whatsoever taken into consideration in the making of this list.  (And, I will admit to ripping off Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” and switching it to “You might be hit by a meteorite.” But, hey, my version rhymes.)

If you step on the scale and declare you’ve now gone under your target weight, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you declare out loud that you’re having the best (fill in the blank here – I’m going with “hair day” but you add whatever thrills you) of your life, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If your children tell you they’ve cleaned up their room without you asking them to do it, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you’re in charge of the pumpkins for Pumkin Chunkin in Delaware and you’ve piled the pumpkins to chunk into one big mound on the day before the event, that pile might be hit by a meteorite.

If you just invented the cure for the common cold, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If your children actually eat and ask for seconds the very healthy meal you've prepared from scratch, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you have the only ticket that matches all the numbers plus the Powerball when the lottery is peaking in the mind bogglingly high millions of dollars, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you have succeeded in beating the Guinness World Record for the tallest house of cards, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you’ve found a way to create and maintain world peace, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you’ve been doing home improvements and finally after years and years declare that your house is perfect, you might be hit by a meteorite.

If you just crossed off the last item on your “bucket list,” you might be hit by a meteorite. (Unless, being hit by a meteorite happens to be on your bucket list, then you’re safe.)

And, finally, the day I say, “done,” on novel #2, I myself might be hit by a meteorite.

If you have one to add?  I’d love to hear it!  
If I made you laugh, love to hear that, too!
 I promise you will not be hit by a meteorite if you check out my first novel, 
Going Barefoot in Greener Grass:
Ah, barefoot, green grass, drama between friends and thoughts of summer!


  1. Hi Audry! This is very clever...and hilarious, too! You know what I thought was the most amazing thing about that meteorite, aside from the fact that it actually hit a populated area?? How many Russians have Dash Cams!! What awesome sights we were all able to witness because of them! My youngest son told me there's all kinds of car crashes you can see on You Tube if you type in Russian Dash Cams! Wishing you a wonderful day....and no worries! :)

    1. Thanks for sharing this interesting fact about Russian dash cams - never knew that! I wish you a wonderful day, too ... with no worries :)

  2. P.S. I'm hosting some guest bloggers and would love to have you participate! My e-mail is: writergal53 at g mail dot com.

  3. After years of therapy and having the self-help section of the Lynden City Library reserved exclusively for moi--you have shown me the secret'...assign Murphys Law to my irrational fears. As Robert Deniro said to Billy Crystal in "Analyze This"'re good...very good!':)

    1. It's true - Murphy's Law works! It also explains why when I'm pulling out of a parking space there's always someone behind me that wasn't there two seconds ago :) Love that movie - Analyze This!


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