I cannot take my eyes off everything Summer Olympics London 2012. It’s terrible. I’m losing sleep. I can’t focus on anything else. I’m suddenly so worried about people I’ve never met and, in most cases, never knew existed before this week. Will they win gold? Will they have a spectacular wipe out? Will their parents sitting in the stands survive the angst of watching their kid perform? Will they have a “wardrobe malfunction”?
Worst of all, I’ve adopted a sports commentator voice in my head whenever I attempt to accomplish any mundane task: “If anyone can empty the dishwasher in world record time, it’s Audry Fryer. Four years ago in
, she missed the qualifiers by one hundredth of a tenth of a second. The pressure’s on and this is her time to make Olympic history. And, she’s off! Oh, that’s going to be a deduction but she can make it up here if she sticks the landing …” Beijing
Is it the skimpy-clothed athletes? Is it the drama, the tears of joy and the weeping of defeat? Is it the fact that I prefer to watch other people push their bodies to the extreme while I kick back on the couch with a bowl of ice cream? Perhaps.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go watch a sport I’ve never cared about before today. I’ll send you back to Bob Costas: “There you have it, another solid performance by blogger Audry Fryer. Last week’s post about Fifty Shades of Grey collected over a hundred pageviews. We’re still awaiting the results for this post. Stay tuned.”