Fest versus Rest

Aud-toberfest   It’s no secret that I love the month of October.  Is it because it’s the month of everything “fest”?  That it’s the season of fall foliage, hayrides, cider and pumpkins?  That my birthday is smack in the middle of the month?  Yes, yes & yes!

NyQuil you are a friend of mine.   I joyfully flipped the calendar from September into October and started sneezing … and sneezing and sneezing.  At first, I lived in denial believing that it was only allergies and that it would pass. I’m planning on doing some “research” this weekend – Achoo!  Maybe.

Oktoberfest and Research for Novel #2 (wink, wink)  Is it a coincidence or a positive sign from the universe?  It just so happens that this weekend when I have a chance to attend a local Oktoberfest that I have arrived at the part in my outline which dictates that the characters in Secret, Lies and Apple Pies will be attending one drama-filled Oktoberfest celebration!   

A Pity-Party Fest is not the Best.  I’ve already lowered my expectations substantially this year with the onset of this cold - yes I said cold.  This year, my birthday is on a boring Monday.  Last year, my birthday landed auspiciously on a Saturday.  I was full of eager anticipation.  And it came to be a great day for getting out and doing something fun.  A lot of people close to me took advantage of that glorious autumn day, too … except not necessarily with me or because it was my birthday.  In the end, I made my husband begrudgingly drive me and our children up to Jim Thorpe, PA for their “fest” and wound up sitting in traffic for over two hours.  After that, I was pretty much over my birthday being on a Saturday as my high expectations burned and crashed.  Plus, let’s not forget how last year’s October ended in a freak snowstorm that knocked out power for nearly a week around here. 

Fest versus Rest.  Low expectations in place for this month: check.  Beer Stein filled with NyQuil: check.  Outlook for October 2012:



Will it be "fest"?



Or will it be rest?



I’ll let you know in November.

Killer Cardio

How “killer” could it be? I wondered of the 16 minute Free-On-Demand exercise video entitled Killer Cardio. I mean, I could see if it was a full hour video, then, yeah, “killer”.  But 16 minutes minus the part where the instructor talks and minus the warm-ups – easy peasy.  I got this. And then, I can check: “make-up for eating an entire cupcake in batter form” off my to-do list.  (I don’t want to get into how it happened that I ate the equivalent of a cupcake’s worth of batter – let’s just leave at: it had something to do with being hormonal and mildly stressed.)

Speaking of lists, I’m compiling a list called “I wish they’d invent”.  I would attempt to invent these things myself but I’m too busy renting 16 minute exercise videos.  Here’s my first entry: “I wish they’d invent exercise videos that you can lose weight and get fit simply by laying there and watching it.”  Really, someone please invent this.

(Not actual instructor-chick)

So, I hit rent and the I didn’t eat a cupcake in batter form over the weekend or ever in her life instructor appeared and began explaining her video.  Blah, blah, blah – something about hitting pause if I need to at any time during the workout session – blah, blah, blah.

“Let’s warm-up”.  I’m marching in place thinking I can keep up with this chick.  Sure, she’s in killer shape but I bet – or at least, I hope – she didn’t give birth to three kids like yours truly here.  (My claim to fame is that I survived carrying twins and I didn’t complain once – Flashback: “I’m dying.  I can’t walk.  I can’t believe the ultrasound didn’t show the entertainment system that these twins have hooked up to the umbilical cord!”)

“Now, remember, you can hit pause at any time,” the instructor chick reminds me.  Okay, okay already, there’s like ten minutes left – how killer can it be? 

“Let’s begin with squats for 30 seconds” – oh please … killer, yeah right.  Okay, my thighs are burning  – but that’s good.  Bye, bye batter-cupcake: I’m burning you off.

“Squat jumps for 30 seconds.”  Bring it on!  Here we go. 

“For the next nine minutes you’re going to collapse on the floor and watch me finish the workout.” 

So, the instructor chick didn’t actually say that.  I’m not sure what she said from that point forward.  But, while staring at the ceiling flat on my back, I did come up with my first entry for “I’d wish they’d invent” and that’s something, right?

FYI- You don't have to rent a Killer Cardio video, there's plenty of excercise "recipes"  of the killer kind on Pinterest.  Will reading them make you skinny?  Someone invent that!

Home Alone, a Ringing Phone and an Unknown Ring-Tone

 Once the bus whisks my twins off to Kindergarten, I am home alone for most of the afternoon - well unless you count Riley and Brick. 

Brick the Beta

Riley

Usually the time passes uneventful and quickly (as we have established here on a previous post that I am the unofficial queen of time wasting.)

Yes, uneventful and quickly … until one afternoon, as I was home alone when I heard a phone ringing! It was actually a friend calling to chat.  But then, another phone was ringing! And that turned out to be an unknown number on my cell phone.  I didn’t answer it because this number had called two other times …and had not left a message - Mysterious.  And then, the call waiting beeped in my ear!  It was my husband asking me to do some inane chore outside that I’d rather he do (but that’s a whole other post.)  Needless to say, I hung up quickly with him and the house went silent … until … there was another ringing phone … with an unknown ring-tone!  Dun-dun-dahhh!

It wasn’t the house phone.  It wasn’t my cell phone.  There was a phone ringing somewhere in the house and I WAS HOME ALONE!  (I wish you could have seen my older son’s face as I told him this story –the way he was looking at me was priceless!)  Anyway, where was I?

…and I was home alone with the ringing phone with an unknown ring-tone!  I walked down the hallway …

…followed the ringing into my daughter’s bedroom … 

… on her desk, sat an old cell phone …

The phone had been disconnected, as in no longer in use, as in unable to send or receive calls, as in not supposed to be ringing when no one was near it, as in What the hell is happening?, as in Did I mention I was home alone?

Ring, ring, ring.  Ring, ring, ring.  Should I answer it?  Who could be calling?  Crazy thoughts zipped through my head.  Obviously, it was someone trying to contact me from the other side.  I’ve watched enough episodes of the Long Island Medium to know that it was possible.

Cautiously I approached the phone.  In the long-arm stance of someone reaching for something very undesirable, I picked up the phone.  I was poised to say, “Hello.”  I was ready to speak with the “other side”.

And … and … and … I read the display … which said,

“Alarm set 3:30 p.m.”

I would like to take a moment, right here and now, to thank my parents who gave my children their old phones when they upgraded to smart phones last month.  These phones have provided hours and hours of “I-can-barely-think-straight or hear-my-own-thoughts” entertainment, including my daughter unwittingly setting the phone’s alarm when I was…

HOME ALONE!