Time’s a-wastin’ and I’m a-wastin’ time!

Yesterday afternoon, I finally sat down an hour before the bus was due to return and decided to do some reading.  The story was actually sort of good, rather entertaining.  Unfortunately, as I was getting into it - it came to an abrupt end.  That’s it.  It just ended.  Halfway through and zip, nada, nothing more - it cut off.  I would have been enraged, but then I realized I was reading my own book!  It was my own second attempt at writing a novel.  Plus, I knew where the last half of it was: lost in some time/space blackhole vacuum suck.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like bananas.
--Groucho Marx

The way I figure it, I have four hours a day (minus cutting up three bananas for my kids’ after-school snack) in a regular five day school week equaling twenty unanswered hours a week all to myself to squander how I see fit.  If I factored in surfing Facebook, Pinterest, my daily horoscope, checking out the weather, the top People headlines, some real world headlines and entering sweepstakes that I’m never going to win…

(Speaking of sweepstakes, there was this whole article that totally pissed me off in the back of All You magazine.  Usually there's a mundane write-up about moms who clip coupons, but this time it featured this woman who was supporting her family on sweepstakes wins - Bitch!  I never ever, ever, ever have won, never ever, and I enter, oh I enter, faithfully, several times a week, big prizes, small prizes and not one single win.  This woman boasted that sometimes she wins things she really doesn’t want so she posts those items up for sale on E-Bay.  I hope I never meet this woman on the street.  I think she should take a restraining order out on me right now.)

What was I saying?  Oh yes, and then there’s perhaps excercising undisturbed and the Real Housewives of NYC episodes I’d rather set time aside for watching while I’m alone - you know, without having the children around to ask me why the women on the show are always drinking alcohol. And there are definitely closets to organize which reminds me about cruising the Bed, Bath and Beyond website for stuff that I might want to buy because they went on clearance.  Plus, I could go places …kid-free… like to a friend’s house or a supermarket or a store that sold clothing in adult sizes or even, dare I say, out to lunch.    

After all that, I could actually finish that novel.  Gee, I wonder how it’s going to end.

 The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.
--Michael Althsuler

The bad news is that I’m the pilot.  The good news is … uh … is … uh … it’s five o’clock somewhere?

Time's fun when you're having flies.  --Kermit the Frog

Change “flies” to vodka and Kermit has the right idea!