If there's one thing that applies to all mothers in general, it's the dreaded "Mom Guilt". If you work, you feel guilty about not spending enough time with your children. If you stay at home, you feel guilty about not contributing financially. Plus, forget about doing something just for yourself. That's a one way ticket on a guilt trip. In fact, I'd venture that the mother robin that flies away from her nest (above) every time I open my front door feels guilty.
And, it doesn't stop there. As I mom, I try to do what I think is best for my children. I have a background in education. I have achieved the impossible task of having twenty children at a time listen and learn from me. But, those twenty children weren't related to me. Inevitably, my own children know exactly how to undermine all of those best of intentions. Oh, the mom guilt!
Well, this Mother's Day, may all you moms out there have a guilt-free day. From my quick Google search, I learned what I already knew but it bears repeating: "Happy moms make happy kids". Sure they're hanging on your leg as you dash out for a little "me-time", but do it anyway. Yes, they're crying at the door as you pull away, but they'll be so happy to make you feel guilty when you come back home!
Whether you're a mother or a daughter/son, be sure to leave a "guilty" comment ... because admitting your guilt is the first step to recovery ;)
Here's mine: (from a daughter's perspective) In my haste to self-publish on Kindle, I forgot one very important page. I omitted this page because of my hang-ups that an e-book isn't a real book, but that's a whole different post. Anyway, the page missing is the dedication page and here's what it should say:
For my mother, Thanks Ma!
Great post! My guilt sets in about every week day around oh let's say 8:47 A.M. when I have just rushed my kids out of bed, threw breakfast down their throats, barely combed their hair and hurried them out the door to wherever they are going that day AT 8:15! My guilt subsides when they come running, screaming Mommy Mommy guess what I did today...get the wind-knocked-out-of-me-hug and take them home. Like your book - I always think WHAT IF...what if I am "ruining" my kids by not being home or if I am doing them a service by allowing them the experiences they are having with whomever or whatever they are doing from "9 to 5" - I always think "man, Audry is a great Mom and she does so much" but then I remember you saying once that it would be nice to be around other adults through the day...I don't know what's best but I do know that when I walk in that door and I get the proverbial wag of the tail from those little tykes I think...hmmm maybe I am doing what's best for my family.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY MOTHER'S DAY my SIL!
What an amazing Mother's Day gift! Thank you, Audry! Not only are you an amazing writer, but you are also the most incredible and loving mother. I'm very proud of you!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day, Pumpkin!
Great post! I followed you here from She Writes. This is something that every mom on the planet deals with, I think. There's always something to feel guilty about. If I worked outside the home, I'd feel guilty about putting my kids in daycare. I stay home to write, but I feel guilty when I don't jump up and play with them when they ask, or even as much as I think I should. Ah, the wonderful world of Mommyhood. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day!
Happy mother's day! As Mums, we always feel guilty anyway...
ReplyDeleteI have the trophy for this one Audry. There's not enough space on your blog to cover why, I just do. I have four grown children who would be glad to provide at a second's notice the reasons why I am guilty...
ReplyDeleteThanks to all the moms and mums that commented. I like the trophy idea, Elizabeth. I think we all deserve one. Happy Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteAudry,
ReplyDeleteYou have hit on something for sure! I spent entirely too much time (in the first few years as a stay-at-home mom) choosing to be guilty. I have come to understand that guilt is a choice...and it is something that I simply don't choose to do anymore. We moms are all doing the absolute best that we can, and I think your advice to serve yourself first(your needs, your dreams, your desires)will make you a better mom in the end. I like your writing style! MMF
Thanks, Meagan, for your comment and your much appreciated compliment about my writing style. I like thinking about guilt as a choice. That's a very empowering idea :)
ReplyDeleteOh yes. The one thing I look forward to on Mother's Day is my "Guilt-free" run. This year, for the first time, it was the most guilt-ridden run I have ever had! My oldest daughter was nearly in tears because she wanted to stay home and spend time with me. And I went anyway. (When I got back, we played a game together. But still.) There's really no way out, is there?
ReplyDeleteI think you're right, Tracy. There is really no way out! I hid in my room and took a nap on Mother's Day ;)
ReplyDelete