I've been having Chicken Little moments of anxiety ever since that giant ball of fire containing a meteorite crashed into the frozen landscape of Russia, shattering windows, busting vodka bottles and unfortunately injuring many people within a broad area. Look at what it did to this guy:
 |
| (For all you movie fans, yes, this is Ivan Drago from Rocky IV) |
As Alfred E. Neuman's famous quote goes, "What me, worry?"
Yes! I was always a “worrier” and
now since having children, I’m a certified card carrying “WORRIER”. Then, I started thinking about the
probability of a meteorite (like the one that did the dinosaurs in, supposedly)
actually hitting here. And, I’ve
concluded to ease my anxiety that there must exist a direct link between
Murphy’s Law and meteorites. So, I made
a brief list of what it would take for a meteorite to strike with such exact
precision. Be warned, there was
absolutely no form of science whatsoever taken into consideration in the making
of this list. (And, I will admit to
ripping off Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” and switching it to “You
might be hit by a meteorite.” But, hey, my version rhymes.)
If you step on the
scale and declare you’ve now gone under your target weight, you might be hit by a meteorite.
If you declare out
loud that you’re having the best (fill in the blank here – I’m going with “hair
day” but you add whatever thrills you) of your life, you might be hit by a
meteorite.
If your children
tell you they’ve cleaned up their room without you asking them to do it, you
might be hit by a meteorite.
If you’re in
charge of the pumpkins for Pumkin Chunkin in Delaware and you’ve piled the pumpkins to chunk
into one big mound on the day before the event, that pile might be hit by a
meteorite.
If you just
invented the cure for the common cold, you might be hit by a meteorite.
If your children
actually eat and ask for seconds the very healthy meal you've prepared
from scratch, you might be hit by a meteorite.
If you have the
only ticket that matches all the numbers plus the Powerball when the lottery is
peaking in the mind bogglingly high millions of dollars, you might be hit by a
meteorite.
If you have
succeeded in beating the Guinness World Record for the tallest house of cards,
you might be hit by a meteorite.
If you’ve found a
way to create and maintain world peace, you might be hit by a meteorite.
If you’ve been
doing home improvements and finally after years and years declare that your
house is perfect, you might be hit by a meteorite.
If you just
crossed off the last item on your “bucket list,” you might be hit by a
meteorite. (Unless, being hit by a meteorite happens to be on your bucket
list, then you’re safe.)
And, finally, the
day I say, “done,” on novel #2, I myself might be hit by a meteorite.
If you have one to add?
I’d love to hear it!
If I made
you laugh, love to hear that, too!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I promise you will not be hit by a meteorite if you check out my first novel,
Going Barefoot in Greener Grass:
Ah, barefoot, green grass, drama between friends and thoughts of summer!
